Listless

I’m sorry to have taken yet another long break from writing. It seems I have been listless lately.

First of all, the horrible heatwave that we had this past weekend left me catatonic in the only spot the swamp cooler hits directly. Secondly, I have been very frustrated with the job search, and hoping for something to come up that I can do. Thirdly, I’ve been wondering if people want to read about what I read? Was I off when I came up with this theme for a blog? I don’t feel that I can just write about my life. I felt that this would be a good way to keep me accountable with my reading. And I don’t know that I went into this with any expectations for people to read it, but I’m kind of selfishly hoping that people do like it. (Now, that pathetic song from The Social Network trailer is playing in my head.)

I guess this is the biggest problem: self-doubt. I want to feel confident and happy, but right now, I am terrified of the idea of not being hired, of not doing my family, my alma mater, and myself, justice.

So, I ask those of you who read, and who blog yourselves, am I going in the wrong direction? What motivates you to write? Have I just bombed the whole idea?

Sorry, for pooping on the party.

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6 responses

  1. “Ev’ry potty has a pooper and the pooper is you, potty poopah, potty poopah!”

    Haha. I love that movie.

    I suppose I don’t blog for people to read it. I blog because it is something that isn’t music. So much of my life is music– even now, I am listening to Hindemith’s best work (Symphonic Metamorphoses)– but I need something different. That difference is writing. Don’t worry about people not reading.

    I am positive that there are other people in the world that would love what you have to say about different books. You just need to keep doing this for yourself if it truly makes you feel good when doing so!

  2. I love your last line… pooping on the party!
    To be honest, (you know me) it is difficult to read posts reviewing literature when you have not read the book being reviewed. Perhaps this is why?

    Anyway, I love you hemiola 🙂

    • Aww, thanks Nicole. I understand how it can be hard if you haven’t read the book. I think I’m trying to work on that balance, so that I can relate books I read to my life, but not give away the books. It’s sort of a book review with a personal twist. I love you too, codetta!

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