Less to do with reading than with writing

I haven’t stopped reading. My focus for the past couple of days has been on one thing: the job I have been hoping for since before graduation – a full-time university relations job at my alma mater that would allow me to live with the fiancée again.

It finally posted. In order to make it to an interview, I need to write a dynamic cover letter that emphasizes the qualities and skills I have. I also can’t sound cliché or inexperienced or overenthusiastic. I wrote over one hundred cover letters between April and October, and I think I got three bites. Honestly, I was so burnt out that I couldn’t think to write another cover letter. And I know there are many other people who have written many more letters. I know that I will probably spend the better part of my life trying to sell myself in one page, but it’s difficult to do, and I am complaining.

I’m probably complaining to also cover up the ball of knots my stomach is in over this position. You know when you’re just right for something? I am convinced I am right for this job. And I just need the people in charge to see that I am too. And what’s even worse is that I kind of let myself let go of that career goal. I tried to make other plans. And now, here it is, and I’m worried that I’ve distanced myself from it too much to do a good job. I should treat it like any other job, but I can’t. I care too much. I just need to do it.

Sorry about my stressball attitude. Once the letter is out of my hands, all I can do is wait, and I’m pretty darn good at that. It’s when I have control over the situation that I freak out (which is not what I said about myself in the cover letter). Have any of you ever felt this way? Please tell me I’m not that crazy.

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