Last time, I was just tapping into what The Paris Wife, by Paula McLain, taught me.
So, love evolves and changes. I hope that when E and I have been married for one week, one year, ten years, that we will be more in love with each other than we were the day before. I’m more in love with him now than I was yesterday, and certainly more in love with him than the first time I realized I loved him (a loooooong time ago). But there are days when I’ve questioned myself and my ambition and my needs and E’s needs. Can we sustain that love? And the answer is yes, but we also have to be ready for the game to change, and know that we’ll get through it. I mean, the love I have for him now is very different from that high school love we had five years ago.
We’ve gone through a lot and we have a lot more to go through. We have to work through transitions and allow for our love to grow and change as we do over the years. Isn’t that what marriage is about? Being ready to make those changes, knowing that the person beside you will always be beside you and having faith that they know the same? So much life will come along: children, loss, careers, moves, etc. What’s going to get me through it? What’s going to get E through it? I will say E. I hope he says me, he might say Halo. Just kidding.
I have to believe that we won’t suffer a fate like the Hemingways. And I’m going to work my hardest to always be open to the change and movement and evolution of the love we have. I hope you will, too. I’m sure you already are, faithful reader. That’s why I love you. Thanks for hanging with me through this one. It is a big deal.